I’m a remorseless googler

For this I love the internet, though its genius is also its downside; it gives us a plethora of information and communication.

So much so, that fraud, disinformation and data manipulation is easily dispersed amongst it… Still, I feel if you’re reasonably diligent about fact checking and verification, you’re far better off knowledge wise than any previous generation. Of course that could be said of practically every generation, but in this case the jump we’ve made in the last 20 years is astounding in comparison to past advancements. You can carry an entire library in your pocket, access to more movies and tv shows than you could watch in your lifetime, along with all the porn you could ever want, and a whole lot more you don’t. Also cat pictures. LOTS of cat pictures.

So, I love googling the interwebs because I’ve learned so much more about my ailments than I ever would have known in the pre-internet days. At least without significant effort on my part. It’s not that I’m lazy about gaining knowledge; I simply see it as inefficient, and it’s hard to do when at your worst you have a pretty bad case of agoraphobia. (Not to be confused with aGorophobia, wherein you have a fear of a giant 4 armed dude from Mortal Kombat.)

I’ve discovered so many links in things I’ve done and how I’ve felt to my bipolary-ism. Things I never realized were related. Things I did as a child that make so much more sense now.

For instance, dreaming. I’ve always had odd, long, detailed dreams, and I remember them far more often than most people do from what I can tell. Only recently (Within the past couple years; that’s all “recent” to me.) did I learn that it’s more than likely as much a part of my diagnosis as the emotional rollercoaster I ride. It also explains why I feel tired even after sleeping for what seems like forever.
Depression and Dreaming
How the link between REM sleep and depression affects the treatment of Bipolar Disorder
The Science of Sleep: Dreaming, Depression, and How REM Sleep Regulates Negative Emotions

I get phases where I’m clumsy as all hell. Everything trips. My words trip, my hands trip, my feet trip, I randomly lose my balance. Good times. I never thought it could be connected to my bipolariness.
Posture Control in Bipolar Disorder

I’m forgetful… and indecisive, more traits that good old bipolar either causes or exacerbates. All those times as a kid when I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to eat or wanted to do…
Indecision – An Arduous Bipolar Symptom
Bipolar Disorder and Memory Loss


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