I am forever pursuing myself.

I look at other artists’ work and they seem so… what’s the word I’m looking for? Definitive? Maybe… Unique? No, I don’t think that quite fits but it will do… Me though? I’m scattered, amateurish, undirected.

I’m going to go against my better judgement here and turn this into a good old cliched “New Year’s Resolution” story.

I’m going to cheat though, by listing more than one, and giving myself the out of “I resolve to accomplish/change at least one of the following things.”

1. Improve my level of patience. I find I often don’t bother to learn things because I simply can’t stand the fact that I don’t know how to do them perfectly right from the start. I don’t like being bad at something, and I don’t like having to wait long to improve, so often I don’t even try. This is stupid. My art would vastly improve as well had I the patience to spend more time on each piece.

2. Start signing my damned work. I constantly forget to do this, the idea that someone would steal my stuff is inconceivable to me (Sidenote: My mind ALWAYS reads that word in the voice of Vizzini from The Princess Bride.) Even when I was making stuff for class, I’d forget to sign it.

3. Stop wanting to give up whenever I come across someone better than me, and strive to improve to that level instead.

4. Stop responding to damned near every compliment I get by self-deprecating. Whenever someone says they like something I did, I have the uncontrollable urge to answer this by thanking them, and then pointing out everything I think I could have done better or missed or whatever. I feel guilty accepting praise if I see something wrong with my work.

5. Be bolder.

6. Get a self hosted blog and business set up and keep it up, by posting and creating new work regularly.

And, as always happens when I make a list of ideas, I will come up with far better ones after I post this, but for now I’m fresh out.


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